i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
