Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it's like iHOP with fire
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
