She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
