im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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