I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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