Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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