I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
