I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
