I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm gonna fight the coyote
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
