I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
