Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize