he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You are a genius and a whore.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
