fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
