its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
