I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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