we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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