not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
