At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize