Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
