Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
