I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
