It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
