guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize