why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
