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Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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