I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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