Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize