I wish i was in the wii world.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
