so that wasnt chicken after all
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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