Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
