Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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