So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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