I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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