Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
