Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
