I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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