Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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