This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
