I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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