Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
