I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
