Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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