i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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