I need help removing her.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My dad just said "fuck circus"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
