sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
