She said her name was "party"
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
