shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
