Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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