I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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