i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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