why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
