Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have already put on my inside pants.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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