so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this boner is exhausting
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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