this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
