He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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