walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Of course I have a pirate flag
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
