Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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