he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
