I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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