last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
