I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize