I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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