Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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