I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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