Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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