We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize