i can't believe i had my finger in that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
