In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
